8 Tips To Dating Someone In Recovery & What To Expect

Benefits of Dating Someone in Recovery

Nowhere in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) does it say that being in recovery means you have to date only other people who are themselves in recovery. However, there’s a strong argument for dating someone who is working on a program of recovery from drug addiction. Here are some of the benefits of dating someone in recovery.

Both of you will be committed to living a sober lifestyle.

• When dating someone in recovery, it’ may not be important for both individuals to have everything in common; in fact, that would be quite boring. But, it is vital to be on the same page about certain things – the important stuff, such as being sober. Otherwise, tensions, misunderstandings, and resentments can happen.

You don’t have to deal with kissing someone with alcohol on their breath.

• Some people can’t stand the smell of wine, beer, or alcohol on someone’s breath, especially if they’re kissing them. By dating someone in recovery, you can ensure never having to deal with this.

8 Tips for Dating Someone in Recovery

This article outlines eight helpful tips to consider when dating someone in recovery.

Take It Slow

Jumping headfirst into a new relationship is never a good idea, but taking it slow when you’re dating someone in recovery is especially important. Concentrate on getting to know each other as people before rushing into a romantic relationship

Remember It’s Not Your Job to Fix Anyone

Remember that you can’t fix problems for your partner. You can be a source of encouragement, love, and support, but the decision to stay in recovery belongs to your partner alone.

Be Ready to Accept the Consequences

 Individuals in recovery often have several challenging issues in their past. For instance, they may have serious financial problems, a criminal record, or a child they’ve lost custody of.

Remember that past mistakes don’t have to be a deal breaker, but it’s essential to consider what you’re getting into if you decide to move forward. Your partner’s problems will also be yours when the relationship becomes serious.

Educate Yourself

To be a supportive partner, you need to have a solid understanding of substance abuse and recovery. Visit sites to learn more about the latest research into the nature of addiction. You can also find a wealth of information resources at your local public library.

Moreover, attending a support group for the friends and family of those in recovery (Al-Anon and Nar-Anon) may be beneficial. These groups let you learn more about recovery while providing a sympathetic ear when you face challenges in your relationship.

Put Recovery First

Individuals in recovery generally have a lot of meetings and appointments to attend. This can make planning dates and other social activities challenging, but your partner’s recovery needs to be the priority in your relationship. Time spent with support groups and addiction counselors is an investment in a better future for both of you.

Understand Your Partner’s Triggers

Individuals in recovery have certain sights, sounds, and situations that can trigger the desire to drink or use drugs. For instance, visiting a place one used to go to while drunk is a common trigger. Speak to your partner about his or her cravings and what triggers the urge to use.

Once you understand your partner’s triggers, you can work together to manage exposure proactively. The intensity of your partner’s cravings will likely decrease as time passes, but addiction is a chronic disease. This means you’ll have to be aware of the risk of relapse as long as you’re together.

Dating Someone in AA

It is easy to create a list of drawbacks and reasons why it is unwise to date someone with a history of alcohol abuse. What if they relapse? This is an understandable concern and a reason for both people in the relationship to move slowly and cautiously. This allows time for both individuals to get to know each other and gain emotional intimacy before jumping into a serious relationship.

Honesty and openness are critical in all relationships, especially when one or both partners are sober. Dating can be a perfect moment to learn about each other, talk about triggers, and what types of situations feel comfortable. Some recovering alcoholics have no issue if their partner drinks and feel no uneasiness going to bars or clubs where alcohol is served. For others, those situations are too risky and need to be avoided. Dating someone in recovery can be a learning process and discovering whether there is compatibility.

Here are a few tips on how to navigate the world of dating someone in AA:

Understanding and Empathy Are Key

Dating someone in recovery demands understanding and empathy. If you’re going to be with someone who is not sober when you are, make sure you find someone who is the most understanding person in the world. It may sound like an overstatement, but it’s not.

There is an Alcoholics Anonymous for Family Members

It’s called Al-Anon, and if you’re serious about making your relationship work, it’s probably one of the best things you can do for yourself and your partner. Each meeting consists of a group of people who, just like you, love someone who is an alcoholic. Everyone shares their struggles, triumphs, and stories, which help them recover from the effects of their loved one’s drinking. When dating someone in recovery, sharing is encouraged but not mandatory, and just like a regular AA meeting, al-anon meetings are anonymous.