What Is Self Destructive Behavior? Causes & How To Stop It

Self Destructive Behavior Statistics

For decades, knowledge about nonsuicidal self destructive behavior was limited to only a few empirical studies. Nevertheless, the last 10 to 15 years have witnessed an explosion of research and significant advances in knowledge about nonsuicidal self-injury. We now comprehend much about the classification, prevalence, correlates, forms, and functions of nonsuicidal self destructive behavior and have dispelled many misconceptions.

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What Causes Self Destructive Behavior?

Persistent self destructive behaviors are more common in those who lack internal control over their lives, environments, or results. This is known as having an “external locus of control,” widespread in mental and behavioral health issues. Individuals with significant psychotic symptoms, impulse control difficulties, or severe depression are more likely to demonstrate self-destructive tendencies.

• Alcohol or Drug Abuse
  • A person who engages in self destructive behaviors might suffer from an alcohol or drug addiction. Individuals who use substances as coping mechanisms frequently have a troubled past and abuse alcohol and drugs to numb their feelings. They seek short-term relief for their pain, and alcohol and drugs provide the perfect outlet in their minds to achieve their goal. However, negative feelings and uncomfortable emotions always come back, making this a dangerous habit in the long run.

• Self-Harm
  • Burning or cutting oneself is an unhealthy way of coping with emotional pain. Most of the time, self-harm is not a suicide attempt, but it can lead to suicide deliberately or accidentally. If you or someone you know is hurting themselves, please seek help immediately. Self-harm is a sign of much deeper issues that need to be addressed.

• Impulsive Behaviors
  • Self-destruction habits include reckless spending, hypersexuality, drug addiction, theft, and other impulsive actions. Someone suffering from this may have a bipolar disease or a personality issue, making it difficult for the patient to manage their emotions. This and an incapacity to appraise consequences predispose a person to impulsive behavior.

• Being Too Sensitive
  • Self destructive behavior in relationships while being too sensitive is often a genetic trait and can’t be helped; some individuals who feel things more deeply use this to manipulate people. For instance, if someone feels like they have to walk on eggshells around a person, this is self-destructive behavior. The overly sensitive person might not mean to make them feel this way, but they still use their emotions to control the person or situation.

How To Stop Self Destructive Behavior

While psychologists suspect that self-destructive behaviors could be coping mechanisms (i.e., to deal with stress, social demands, pressure, etc.), others consider self-destructive behavior as a way of maintaining comfort zones due to feelings of unworthiness or lack of confidence (e.g., staying at the familiar bottom of the social ladder).

Self-destructive behavior comes in many guises. Some intense, some not so fierce. But to continue internally growing, connect with your true self, and live a life you love, it’s best to look at your devils right in the face. You might start thinking that you’re fundamentally “broken” or something is severely wrong with you. You’re not broken; you’re just human. The goal isn’t to feel terrible about yourself. The goal is to see that “it is what it is” and find ways to reverse, undo, and triumph over your self-destructive tendencies.

Break The Cycle of Shame

Shame involves an internalized feeling of being humiliated and exposed. Shame is different from guilt. Shame is a feeling of badness about the self. Regret is about behavior, a sense of “conscience” from doing something wrong or against one’s values.

Everyone can break the cycle of shame, even when the odds seem insurmountable. The first step is recognizing how shame fuels your self-destructive behaviors and acknowledging the guilt. It’s okay to have flaws. We all do because we are human and deeply flawed.

Shame can be healed and relieved by:

• Breaking secrecy with people who understand.
• Taking healthy risks to be known and seen authentically, acting from a positive motive, and trying out new behaviors in a safe (nonjudgmental) setting.
• Taking actions that generate pride.

You can break the cycle. It will take time and patience, but the more you make a concerted and conscious effort, the more likely you will be able to end self-destructive behavior and the cycle of shame.

Letting Go of Self-Destructive Behaviors 

There are many psychological reasons for self-destructive behavior, but so are the methods you can use to help yourself or a loved one recover. If you’re unsure how to help a self-destructive person, perhaps that person being yourself, these pointers will be helpful. They are appropriate for any self-destructive behavior but can help you form a solid foundation for addiction recovery in particular:

1. Define Your Behaviors. Alcohol and drug addiction is a significant behavior to define, so it’s helpful to break it down and consider all its negative behaviors. For example, you may find that you tend to create emotionally-fraught situations with one or more of your family members when drunk. Or maybe you prioritize using drugs over things like nutrition and personal hygiene.

Self-destructive behaviors can be small things, like telling yourself you don’t deserve certain things or talking to yourself in a defeatist manner. They can also be the absence of action, such as not paying the bill or deciding not to feed yourself enough to afford drugs or alcohol.

Write down as many of these behaviors as possible, so you can start tackling them individually. You can ask family or friends to help you flesh out your list, making you aware of some new behaviors.

2. Identify Triggers. What makes you self-sabotage? It’s a big question, but you can start by identifying places, situations, people, or things that cause a spike in stress. Aside from general irritation or boredom, stress, and anxiety are the biggest triggers for alcohol or drug addiction cravings and other self-destructive behavior. If alcohol and drugs are a way to shut down unpleasant feelings, you must know what emotions you’re trying to turn off.

Recognizing situations that cause cravings also allows you to avoid them altogether. For example, if you know that seeing others drinking brings on powerful cravings, it’s not a great idea to go to a bar or hang out with that friend who’s constantly doling out beers.

Identifying triggers also allows you to set up healthy coping strategies in case you find yourself in a difficult situation.

Seeking Help for Addiction and Self-Destructive Behavior

It is common for those who show self-destructive behavior to sabotage their recovery actively. With self-destructive behavior, it is usually hard for the individual to allow any loved ones to help them seek treatment and remain sober. The person might also not see any point in seeking treatment, as their self-defeating thoughts might make them believe that it’s pointless or that they will fail.

It is also possible that the person might no longer care enough about their well-being with self-destructive behavior and will refuse and fight against receiving any treatment. They might be under the belief that they greatly enjoy the way their destructive behavior makes them feel and will consider it self-sacrifice if they keep it contained within their own life.

Both emotional and physical components of addiction and self-destructive behaviors must be addressed to recover and regain a healthy balance in life. Medical detox, or removing harmful chemicals from the body, is often the first physical step toward recovery that may be managed in a medically supervised detox facility to help smooth the process and ensure safety. Only after the user is clearheaded and drug- or alcohol-free can someone address the psychological roots of addiction.

Top 3 Self Destructive Behavior FAQs

3 Great Tips to Maintain a Healthy Heart (Emotionally) & How To Improve Your Mental Health Overall Video

Tips For an Emotionally Healthy Heart:

1: Find out who your true friends are.

Many of us rotate between various social circles and groups of people, and everyone seems nice on the surface. But everyone who smiles at you does not necessarily have your best interests at heart. Pay attention to how people you consider your friends act when you’re high and when you’re low when you get a promotion, lose a job, enter a new relationship, or end one. Their initial response will be their authentic one. To keep a healthy heart, you want to surround yourself with people who are on your team and will be solid like roots, not wavy like leaves.

2: Find a way to express your feelings.

One of the best and most effective ways to maintain a healthy heart is never to hold your emotions inside. When you swallow your feelings, they have nowhere to go but your mind. You can easily create a negative narrative about how loved and valued you are. So find a way to express your emotions by journaling, meditating, praying, writing poetry, writing music, talking to a friend, or talking to a therapist. Finding an outlet for your emotions will make it easier for you to understand and manage them.

3: Be kinder to yourself.

Our last and favorite strategy for maintaining a healthy heart is to be kinder to yourself. You are a human, which means you will make mistakes. You will need to do better. But your mistakes and your past do not define who you are. We are constantly evolving and growing, and that takes time and patience. Like plants, we need water and nutrients to help us inside and sunlight to warm us outside. Learn how to rest; do not drive yourself into the ground trying to meet deadlines. If someone offers to take care of you or bring you food because they’re worried about you, let them.

We hope you find these strategies useful!