How to fix a toxic relationship?

Humans are social creatures, and as such, we need relationships to live a fulfilled life. Whether those relationships are within the family, with friends, or with significant others, they are a source of support, understanding, and love — even more so in times of struggle, like managing an addiction. 

Substance addiction significantly affects a person’s life, including relationship dynamics. Behavioral changes can be so impactful that relationships turn toxic. Faced with this change, both addicts and people in their environment start wondering how to fix a toxic relationship. Mental health and rehab centers, like We Level Up Treatment Centers, can help, and seeking professional assistance is always recommendable.

Before doing so, we would like to share some input on toxic relationships, their impact on recovery, and ways to repair a toxic relationship. Learn about steps to fix a toxic relationship and where to seek help if this becomes overwhelming.

Understanding Toxic Relationships

In a healthy relationship, two people build each other up and are there to support each other. They work on enhancing each other’s well-being and overall happiness. Unlike healthy relationships, toxic relationships create negativity, sadness, frustration, and fear. They wear people down and can make them feel misunderstood, unsupported, attacked, demeaned, or threatened. A toxic relationship implies negative behavior and patterns of control, selfishness, manipulation, and abuse, contributing to destructive and self-destructive behaviors.

Toxic relationships often accompany addiction and can even contribute to it. Similarly, behavioral changes displayed in an addiction can be a cause of toxicity in relationships. Finally, toxic relationships can make the recovery process harder. 

Leaving a toxic relationship might seem like the easiest solution, but in reality, it’s not easy at all. The feeling of love might still be present or people may feel they invested too much to simply let go. Furthermore, if the couple has kids, the situation becomes even more complicated, and learning how to repair a toxic relationship is the only choice partners have.

Recognizing the Impact of Addiction

A toxic relationship may appear healthy-looking from the outside. A typical toxic relationship implies frustration, anger, and unhappiness directed at one partner. However, a toxic relationship can damage one or both partners in the relationship. The effects are psychological, primarily emotional. 

One of the most obvious consequences of the behaviors addicts exhibit is a loss of trust. Their often secretive behavior, such as going behind their partner’s backs or flat-out lying, can deteriorate any trust built before the addiction. The lack of trust in a relationship is another characteristic of toxic relationships and one of the hardest ones to repair. 

Addicts also tend to be selfish; they put their needs (drug cravings) first. Occupied by thoughts and acts related to drug acquisition or use, they forget their daily tasks and obligations towards others, making others feel insignificant and forgotten. Other signs of toxic relationships that might develop are related to poor communication, deception, manipulation, gaslighting, and so on. These aspects can impact one’s self-image and make addicts’ partners lose self-confidence. 

While in mental health treatment, addicts start analyzing their relationships and often discover they are the source of toxicity in the relationship. That’s the time when they start looking for ways to repair a toxic relationship and figuring out which steps to fix a toxic relationship they should take.

Steps to Fix a Toxic Relationship

Addressing any issue, toxic relationships included, starts with recognizing you have a problem and being ready to bring it forward. Open and honest communication is the key to the success of any couple, especially when substance abuse comes between partners. Here are some ways to repair a toxic relationship:

• Seek professional help. Sometimes, a professional knows best how to fix a toxic relationship. Partners might not be able to communicate properly, are too biased, or even hurt. A third, neutral person with a background in psychology or psychotherapy can offer mediation and understanding of both sides. We Level Up Treatment Center’s therapy and counseling services can help addicts overcome their substance abuse issues and also aid couples and families in establishing better interpersonal relationships. 
• Establish healthy boundaries. Establishing boundaries is another important aspect of any healthy relationship. It means communicating what one person is comfortable with and what they are willing to conform to. In the case of addiction, it is especially important to establish those boundaries, as respecting them helps build back trust. When agreeing on boundaries, it is also important to communicate the consequences in case they’re not honored. 
• Rebuild trust. Trust is one of the first things to deteriorate in a relationship with an addict, and rebuilding it is a true challenge. Steps to fix a toxic relationship in terms of trust may include compromising more, honoring the deal, taking on more duties, respecting set boundaries, following through with what’s promised, etc. Consistency and honesty are crucial. 
• Focus on self-care. Taking care of yourself, your mental health, and your well-being are important, no matter the problem you are trying to fix. Implementing mindfulness can help you manage stress and frustration and address relationship problems with calm and peace.
• Develop healthy communication. No problem can be fixed without talking about it. This is one of the reasons why developing assertiveness in recovery is so important. Both partners should be able to freely and openly communicate their needs, boundaries, and ideas for a successful relationship.

Role of Addiction Treatment in Relationship Repair

For those struggling with toxic relationships due to an addiction, it is essential to address the addiction first. Any substance abuse treatment ought to start with a drug detox, as it cleanses the body from drugs and their metabolites and makes a person ready to address the psychological aspects of their addiction. 

While in drug and alcohol rehab, you would have psychotherapy sessions based on evidence-based approaches that identify dysfunctional thinking patterns and replace them with functional ones. You and your therapist will primarily be working on the addiction issues, but as your relationships and the support coming from them are important, psychotherapy will include an analysis of them and your behavior related to relationships, especially the toxicity development due to your maladaptive behavior. While in rehabilitation, you get to develop healthy coping mechanisms to use in drug and alcohol recovery, as well as skills, especially communication skills, that can further positively impact your relationships. 

Couple counseling and family programs, which can be part of an aftercare plan, can continue to improve the health of any relationships harmed by addiction. By involving significant others, you can explore different perspectives of your addiction and recovery journey, uncover relationship problems, and develop a sense of togetherness.

Final Words on How To Fix a Toxic Relationship

Relationships should be part of the solution for a person struggling with substance abuse, not another problem to handle. Unfortunately, addiction affects many aspects of one’s behavior and often deteriorates relationships, making them toxic. Toxic relationships affect and hurt both partners, but rather than leaving such relationships, you should use your recovery to learn how to make amends and work on making your relationship better. 

When confused about how to fix a toxic relationship, rebuilding trust and establishing open communication are a good start, but that is more difficult to do than it sounds. Seeking professional help can make it easier, as a trained specialist can help mediate your transition from recovery into reintegration and from a toxic relationship into a healthy one. Healthy and supportive relationships can aid your recovery, empower you, and make you happy. 

Don’t Postpone Seeking Help

Relationships are worth fighting for, so don’t risk losing people by not looking for help on how to fix a toxic relationship. Contact We Level Up Treatment Centers and get advice and recommendations on how to reclaim your life from addiction and how to develop and maintain healthy and happy relationships with your loved ones. 

You are just one phone call away from living to your full potential.